My Independence Day

Its 12 o clock in the noon as I slowly crawl out of my bed. I see some calls missed and SMSs on my cell. As I go through these messages my addled brain slowly processes all the chores that I need to run for the day like cooking, cleaning, bills to pay, laundry & the likes, till I come across an SMS saying “Jai Hind”. Yes it’s our 62nd Independence Day today and the whole of India is celebrating it by sitting at home, thanks to the H1N1 flu. Sitting here in Mumbai as I curse my chances of missing out on the all India release of “Kaminey”, an altogether different movie was playing in my head that put a million watt smile on my face.

Although I have lots of memories associated with my Alma matter this one is very close to my heart. Back in the 90s the Saraswati Vidyalaya band was a well known brand in Nagpur and when they entered any inter-school singing competition almost all participants would roll their eyes in unison knowing completely well that their chances of winning the competition were at stakes. High stakes!! Winning was not a choice for the band, it was a rule. It was the very reason for its existence.

Getting into this high school band was a huge deal. Every year students would be eagerly waiting for some senior of the band to pass out so that some openings would be created. This isn’t documented as most things these days but it was an unspoken open secret. Once the senior is gone the enthusiast would try his luck by giving audition to Yadav Sir, our vice principal. (The creator, caretaker & the composer). If he was good enough he got the entry ticket else he would be rejected very politely with an excuse that he indeed had a melodious voice but needed more practice. But the enthusiast would know that he had blown all his chances forever. If someone made a back door entry like recommendation, teacher’s pets, others- then several other ways were devised to show them the front door. (Limited no. of students required for the competition, asking them to stand at the back or side, etc).

Even I was an eager enthusiast. I had already made up my mind about which group to join. Although I have been with this school since my childhood, but I couldn’t wait to move from primary to high school since that would give me a break to sing along with the school choir. The band consisted of highly competitive singers who had already made their impression and insured their places in the band. How did I come to know of this band? Courtesy -> My sister who was already in the band.

Though I had my doubts during the audition but things went well and I got the TICKET. Yippee!!!!!!.. I would make all my moves very carefully and flee as soon as the rehearsals got over as I thought that the band was a rowdy lot and had a distant air about itself. But all this gloss and sheen chipped off within the first few weeks. All my fears vanished into thin air and I bonded very comfortably with each and every one in the group, which was a sign that I was accepted and welcome in the group. May be even I had become a rowdy :)

Let me introduce you to some of the most memorable members of the group. Kaustubh Godbole. Kaustubh was the rhythm maker. He could produce rhythm out of anything & everything under the sun. Rhythm flowed in his blood. No doubt he is still making his living out of something he has been passionate about right from childhood. He would play the Tabla, Dholak, Congo, Bongo, etc. Whenever the group had to explain a new type of rhythm to him he was amazingly quick to grasp. At times when it would become difficult to explain we would make all types of noises from our mouth like “Vutsuku Vutusku Vutsuku- chikchik chak ch chik chik ch- tara duru duruduru dum” and believe it or not he could make sense out of it and play it perfectly to the T. Apart from doing his own share he would bring along Aiyyappa the tallest guy in the batch who in turn became our Bongo-Congo man. Nobody vied kaustubh’s post and everybody believed that some replacement would come in. But we could never find another kaustubh Godbole. The post is still vacant. Any takers?

How could I miss out on Yadav Sir? Sir is a gifted artist. He writes and composes his own songs and when he would see that the lyrics didn’t go well with the tune he would impromptu alter the lyrics. Once this was done he would dictate this song or ask one of us to copy and circulate it in the team. Then came the rehearsals. With a harmonium by his side, I bet he could conquer the entire world. He would sing out a line for us and expect us to follow. We would sing out loud with gay abandon. The moment he found a disharmonious chord he would make attempts to make us sing those lines individually. Finally when the culprit was found he would rectify it. If he wasn’t able to do so, he would ask one of their closest friends to sing along with him. I can still do anything to hear him sing “Laga Chunari Mein Daag” with kaustubh on the Tabla. It was the ultimate treat. We could see his vocal chords and fear it would tear any moment. May be that’s how we can define passion when every molecule of your body is in sync with what you do.

This fever would reach its peak only during Independence Day and Republic day coz all of us had the huge load of bringing back the glory to SVN ( Saraswati Vidyalaya, Nagpur). We would practice every day after school and sometimes even during our lectures with special permits. After all we had the vice principal by our side but only with the repeated assurance that we would make up for the missed lectures by putting in extra hours of studies. With such practice most of us would have sore throats. But even this wouldn’t stop us from enjoying the joy of having a pani puri or karvanda or ice cream or a soda. It’s at time like these, medicines like STREPCILS, VICKS came to our rescue. Our sickness was so infectious that if we saw one fall sick the other would also fall sick. So the same advice, medicines & remedies would be suggested & repeated in turns. But if we saw one recover the entire team would also recover. This was how viral it would get and they talk of swine flu?

Finally the day would come-> our independence day. The group would have to sing in front of the entire school. This was a very clever trial run devised by Yadav Sir. If things went wrong with this final rehearsal we would be made to rehearse again till we got it right with only a couple of hours left for the final interschool competition to start. The final rehearsals were made to look as FINAL. Yes FINAL. We would be asked to be dressed appropriately, our shoes polished, uniforms pressed, well accessorized, ribbons & laces tied up, etcetera. We would be made to stand height wise and only the most confident ones would be given the center position near the mike. We would also have to run through scenarios like what if we were not allocated more than a single mike. The solution would be during such times kaustubh would have to hit his tabla harder and yadav sir had to thump harder on his harmonium. Over a time, these practices made us much aware of the subtle cues given by other team members and when to chip in for them.

It’s strange somehow that all things tend to go wrong only at the 11th hour. The car which we would have borrowed to reach the venue would not start, someone’s cycle would be punctured, someone would have a sore throat, someone is locked out of the house, someone’s missing & we do not have their phone number and what not. It was those days when one didn’t have the luxury of a cell phone. So either we had call on their or their neighbors’ landlines. But one thing which stood out amidst this chaos was nobody abandoned the group. Ever!! Everybody would somehow make it.

On reaching the venue we would be scanning our competitors. We never underestimated anyone no matter how many times we Won. Our main competitors would be schools like Bishop Cotton, Somalwada High School, Modern school, Center Point to name a few. All of us would meet time and again and evoke the same feelings of anxiety. Over a period these feelings had become mutual. It gave us a kick. Even while other schools would perform we would observe them and decide what to do and what not to do.

When our turn would come to perform we would take our positions and wait for yadav sir to Signal. That’s it. We were ready to make a killing from there. We would not always win but we did make a decent attempt. Our all time favorite songs were “Vande Matrubhumi Vande” or “Mere Watan, Pyare Watan”. If some school had heard that song once and knew that we were going to perfom the same in another competition they knew that they would be better off packing their bags and taking off. Such was the impact of these 2 songs. And when wouldn’t be singing these songs someone might even have sung it. Yes plagiarism existed at that time too and the quoted standard excuse given was “We Were Inspired”.

There was this one school which has left an indelible mark and is etched forever in my head. I do not remember the name of the school but they were from a special school-A school for the specially abled. I do not remember the first year that we met them but most like most, we didn’t have high expectations from them. But whoa, when they started singing my mouth was wide agape. I can still hear them sing in my ears. When they sang everybody listened. Everybody. Even people from the outside who heard them singing came running through the corridors to hear them out during their performance. Such was their power. Though they were physically challenged but when it came to singing they challenged everybody and nobody could beat them. It’s usually difficult to sing for a long time on a high octave or what we call pitch. But they were literally screaming out their lungs and I couldn’t stop admiring them. The fact that I am taking some space to mention them itself is a proof of what kind of singers they could have been. No doubt they won that year and we stood second. But we were more than glad to lose because they truly deserved it.

By the end of all performances we would have a fair estimate of where we stood. All of us would be at the end our tethers by this time. None of these competitions started on time so they never ended on time which would make us call our parents and reassure them of our wellbeing and safety. Sometimes there would be 2,3 or 5 prizes. None of us were much concerned about what came as a prize- a trophy, cash, certificates or anything. All that mattered to us was that SVN had to win. If something unusual happened we would be aware of what was coming our way and then we would cry foul and say “Partiality Hui”. But whenever we won it was a huge occasion to celebrate. It was equivalent to winning a Grammy or a Nobel Prize.

We would go to a nearby restaurant the same day and feast on a simple pleasures of life like a samosa,kachori, idli, masala-dosa or a maaza. If not on the same day we would all be called upon for lunch in yadav sir’s room which would consist of mouth watering hot samosas of our canteen and some Rasgullas from Haldirams. Finally our hard work had paid off.

Ahhh.....There are many more memories with this group but I do not intend on going into that. Something’s are very special and I have no words in my vocabulary to express it. Singing was pleasurable but not as pleasurable as it was with the batch of 1995. The class of 1995 had Kaustubh and some of the best singers including my sister. After they left, I spent almost 3 years with the school choir. I spent one more year with Yadav sir who retired from school in 1996-97. I did have fun but it wasn’t as much as I had with the class of 95. A new master was found to pass on the singing baton. But he could never evoke the same feeling, the same adrenalin rush.

It has been years since these events had taken place in my life. As this entire thing has played in my mind in split seconds I cannot stop wondering that I have been a part of such a group which can be called as a phenomenon in itself. Every time a mere thought about it, is enough to put a smile on my face. It is a smile which is pure, warm, and has no regret in it. And I guess that’s how it should be.

I know I am getting nostalgic. I wish I could go back to those times and relive those moments again. I wish I could REWIND or PAUSE for a moment. But we all know that life has only one button called PLAY. I know its wishful thinking but no one can tame this monkey mind of mine. I want to believe that someday all of us would reunite again and try to recreate that magic, reignite the fire. But the sheer thought of it in makes me feel good, grand, blessed, and I feel liberated whenever I think of this part of my life and this is what my independence day is all about.

Meeting the Masters

Employment doesn’t come easy during times like these and interviews have become a rarity. Like most devout Christians who visit the church once in a week to pay their respects, I pay visits to prospective employers at least once every month. It all began with a phone call from this lady from HR.

Me: Hello
Lady: Hello, I am calling for xyz securities. Did you apply for the post of a ‘Relationship manager/Dealer’?
(Lots of noise in the background. Lady struggling to speak in English)
Me: Yes Madam.
Lady: Could you come down for an interview tomorrow at 4 PM?
Me: (Ecstatic), YESSS.

In my enthusiasm I forget to take her name.

As I gear myself up for the occasion, I cram up all that I had read till date and try to keep all required figures on my tongue tips with whatever could be stored in my pea-sized brain. I couldn’t fall asleep that night and try to pre-empt all kinds of interview scenarios I could come up with.

Woke up all groggy the next day morning. With the help of tea I try to kick myself out of bed and try to rise and shine. Since the destination was a minimum 2 hours journey from my place, to be on the safer side I start early and reach an hour early on their premises.

As I entered a building “Under Construction” the first thought that crossed my mind was, ‘Gosh,men are really hungry here’. They didn’t mind sizing you up right from bottom to top. As I made my way to the lobby I realized I didn’t have the name of the lady with whom I had to meet. So I call her up only to know that the WALK-IN s were slated in between 4 PM to 6 PM and I thought I was the choooosen one. I waited in their lobby for another hour only to find that the higher you reached the hungrier men got. (BTW the office was on the 8th floor).

Finally the time had come. It was time to meet the masters.I reached the 8th floor and again entered my name on a register and waited along with the 20 other also-rans for my turn. There were no arrangements made for walk ins. It looked more of an impromptu effort. The officeboy or rather the office executive took down our names from the register and called out sequentially. (It’s so strange the term executive has become a catchall phrase for all levels of executives).

Meanwhile the number of candidates increased so was the time for which we were standing. During this display all of us were being looked upon as some exotic creatures who desperately needed that green signal to enter the digital fortress that opened up only when you have served your time. On second thoughts it felt like I was standing in queue to catch a glimpse of the Lords of Tirupati, where one had to wait for hours, except that this time I was standing in an air-conditioned room & none of the men had shaved their heads. The movie rolled on for some more time. To be precise they made all the candidates stand for around an hour till some sane soul had the courtesy to escort all of us into a conference room. The best part was yet to come.

The swanky office consisting of several cubicles had a huge state-of-the-art conference room at the entrance from where one could see what was happening outside, only if the blinds were opened up. Once all of us were seated, the blinds were opened, I found that I was looking at it the other way round, all this while. It was a cagey experience. I felt like some animal in a cage and was meant to be a part of a display or experiment or at best an entertainment troupe. There were several analysts outside to observe our behavior. May be they were all writing their final Ph.D thesis and interviews were the best route to get subjects for free.

Now the office exective comes in and declares the ground rules again. He expected all of us to sort out who would go for the interview and take our turns. Can you imagine the chaos that ensued? All of us vied for the seat closest to the door. So every time a candidate moved out all of us were shifting seats . Today we will make our bones through team work.

After waiting for another half an hour I finally met MASTER around 5:30 PM. He led me into another smaller conference hall. I requested him to reiterate the JD coz my guts told me something was seriously amiss. As he went about the JD I realized that he was trying his best to describe something unpleasant and by this time was accustomed to the look on the candidates face. It was the look when one found oneself on a sinking ship or rather deep S***. The profile was of a Calling Executive, where one had to make cold calls to all HNIs and increase the net worth of their portfolio and maintain relationship with them. Then came the standard pitching...

"The incumbents would receive compensation at par with market standards. It is 10K per month or rather 1.2LPA." But the catch was -> "it would depend on the individual’s skills and talents to exploit the variable component attached to the profile. People are taking anywhere in the range between 5K to 50 K per month. Depends on your convincing ability" (or rather how glib one could get. )

I realized that even the office employees seriously didn’t have much work to do. They could have mentioned all about the profile in the JD on their website and let the candidates make an informed decision for themselves. But I am assuming these guys had to fill up their timesheets and show it to their bosses so that they wouldn’t be handed over the pink slip. I was not asked a single technical question or any questions at all. The interview lasted for hardly 2 minutes with most part of the talking done by the gentleman. So much for a 2 hour ride.

As he tried to make a weak attempt to persuade me, my legs were already getting ready for a marathon run. I somehow could come up with a lame excuse & assured him that i would call him back. On my way out of the building I knew that this was a call I was not going to return in this lifetime.

With a 2 hour journey in between and a growling stomach I somehow made it back to my apartment and treated myself to a sumptuous Chinese course. As I pondered upon what I had learnt from this event, I receive another call from an Executive. This time I will leave it to the audience who must have grown wiser, to guess what to expect from this call. While you interpret I will make my arrangements with this Che(i)f executive who might feed me well after my next meeting with the masters of the universe before i even begin pondering at whats in store for me.

Oh no ,Not Again

Ohhh there it is again. My mother has been waiting for this day since I was born or rather, since the day my sister got married. Another assignment to complete, another project worth dedicating her life to.

For those who haven’t guessed it-> Borrowing the dialogue from the hindi movie "Luck By Chance" it’s the routine program of meeting chimpanzees and trying to find my Tarzan amongst them.

I somehow find striking similarities between the search for a property and a guy to marry. Both processes display an uncanny resemblance.
- Resources- The time & energy consumed is colossal.
- Customization is a huge issue since its doesn’t appeal to your palate and/or there is a liquidity crunch in the market with the best ones having run off with the good looking babes or rather the best ones would be Gay.
- House Rent/Salary- This is almost a deal breaker/maker. Some of them do give you a raw deal. (Asking you to relocate & re orient for a stranger whom you wouldn’t even have met till date and who expects you to abandon all that you have worked for- till date).
- Vaastu- The house has to give out the right aura or you might rethink your decision. Yes it can also be called mental wavelength.
- Past ownership matters- You want to ensure all papers are in place so that it doesn’t ruin your present or your future.
- Locality- The place to settle down should be good, calm, pleasant and preferably not have nosy & noisy neighbors.
- The floor - How many floors do you have to climb to get a good view? Better if the fairer sex is less educated or has lesser degrees to her merit. (I have had friends who pursued engineering to find better grooms).

Apart from these there are several other features that you might want to compare. I will leave that to your expertise.

For some reason I don’t find myself ageing though I love the experience of growing up. It’s only when someone puts a number to it or when the mirror stops being your best friend and shows you that pimple or wrinkle on your face, it becomes scary and reality sinks in.

I remember there was a time on campus when I used to be happy re-discovering myself every day. Also this newly bought face cream had brought a glow on my face that added to this self invention process. To my surprise most of my colleagues questioned “Are you in Love?” I was speechless. A few days later as my work schedule got crazy and I didn’t have much time to spend with the mirror the same colleagues questioned “Are you OK, hon? Did you break up?” This time I was more than speechless.

My only thought- was it necessary to be in love to be happy? And I realized that I was in love with myself and my life. Now, its not that I am a narcissist but I had grown so comfortable in my own space and ivory tower little did I need the help of someone else to make me feel happy.

All said & done, I do not know if at all, I am going to cave in to my mother’s wishes, who has already started scouting for suitable S-I-Ls from “Narasimha Priya” (A Matrimonial Magazine) and reads it with more interest than anything else under the sun. She also doesn’t miss out on her Sunday morning regime to watch “Kalyana Malai” (The marriage Garland) and would increase the volume of the idiot box at 7 AM on a Sunday morning to wake me up and watch live telecast of potential grooms.

I had to admit that technology has far reaching effects but with programs like these I wouldn’t mind getting up at 5AM on a Sunday morning and start building a hut for myself. ( Even a cave would do). But was there really a Knight in shining armour on a white horse waiting for me? Hmmn, only time will tell. Till then plsss pray for me.

Consumer Exp 4

Wonder why some banks just don't get the message. Accepted this PSU bank of India has the largest reach in the country. But can it take its position for granted? I found this PSU Bank's focus on urban customers appalling. I have tried their internet banking and have been trying to use their ATMs time and again. But after the first attempt either the internet banking username or password is screwed up or the ATM password is, for no fault of mine. After standing in queue for almost half an hour I was told a lengthy procedure for renewing my passwords at the cost of Rs. 50 each. Now why should one shell out Rs. 100 for no reason? Or was it just another strategy to make money.

For the benefit of those who are unaware of the processes let me shed some light. For internet banking you will have to go to the same site, where you lost it all and then take a print out and submit it to the bank by waiting for another half an hour in the queue. For the ATM password you fill in a form, and wait for another 45 days just for your ATM password.

At the same time they will assure you that you can take out money from the branch whenever you need, in those 45 days, by again standing in queue. How sane is that? If the same would have happened with any other private bank the processing time would easily be 5-6 times lesser. Can’t these giants see this? May be all employees are too overwhelmed to be looking into such things.

It is for such simple reasons I never park my money in this bank. I try to find all reasons to avoid this bank just because of the crowd and or their lengthy processes. But just the fact that it is one very renowned PSU banks and it opens doors to convenient settlement of other accounts like your PF, post office accounts one is bound to stick to the bank. But how long does this bank think it can pull this stunt & run the show?

I want to believe that all the above instances that i mentioned here are 1 time events and happened only with me. But if that happened with you too somewhere else then it would be happening to others too. I do not know how I would ,had I been on the other end. But this surely gives me a very good starting point. If one wants to understand where your are going wrong with your, become your own customer. Coz these are insights no magazine-newspaper or journal is going to provide you with. Open those eyes and you will find that it’s all over the place.

But just because it’s all over does that give you the excuse to take your chances?

Consumer Exp 3

There is something about the way furniture is arranged at any place which makes the final call of you visiting them again. Let it be a relatives place, a hotel, a mall, a bank, an office, etc. Even a loo has that effect on you. It has its effect whether you want to believe it or not. All of us like to be treated like royalties.

Recently I made my annual visit to an insurance company to know further details about my ULIP policy. The office was cramped, there was no queuing system and I couldn’t comprehend who was serving whom. The customer executives seemed to be in a world of their own. The seating arrangement didn’t make it clear as to who was the next customer to be tended. As I waited politely for the executive to call me I found another gentleman barging in and taking my seat. I had to make it clear to the gentleman that it was not his turn. Of course he gave me the dirty looks. Even the executive making an eye contact could have averted the entire issue.

Why did I have to go charging upon a gentleman whom I didn’t know? Was it a local train where I had to claim my seat? Was the customer executive blind to her environment? To add insult to injury when I asked her for some more relevant information about my policy the executive simply flipped the pages of my policy and read everything from it word by word. Made me feel like an educated fool and I lost all my will to enquire any further.

I decided I was not being treated like this. After all it was my money that paid their salary. I jotted down the executive’s name and I formally lodged a complaint with the company for being discourteous. Lodging a complaint doesn’t look good on any branch. The manager called up and apologized profusely. At least I gave them the reason for taking my business elsewhere but there might be others who do it without any explanation. But was all this called for at the first place? Just a small faux pass & things collapse.

Derma Care

After about a month of travelling when i looked at myself in the mirror i looked at a tanned being.Tanning is not my cup of tea. I wonder why most americans are crazy about tanning?

As i try out different ways and means to get rid of this tan ASAP i wondered was it really a tan or was i growing old? To get over all my fears & demons i decided to consult a derma specialist.

All of us know how cosmetology is a billion $ industry. I was much unwilling to be a part of it. But after much hemming and hawing i finally made up my mind.

On reaching her clinic i realized i wasn't the only soul to be worried about my skin, there were several others in line too. As i rolled my eyes to look for a magazine to bide my time, my eyes met a colorful pamplet. Given my level of curiosity i glanced at it once, dismissed it easily & awaited my turn. Ohh i await my time observing others and wondering what was their chase all about?

Finally my turn comes. As i go about pouring each & every detail i find the doc was all ears. I was glee with joy...Atleast someone listens... She shot her usual round of questions-> Do you eat right? Do you exercise?Any stress ( yeaha i have been jobless for over months now & you talk about stress), any unusual body signs ( no).....blah blah ubll ubllbahd bluu...

For how long have you been seeing this skin darkening thing?...( May be years now)..every year my skin shade is different...

The conversation lasted hardly for about 3 minutes. She wrote down a list of creams & asked me to use them regularly and visit her in a month. Your fee doc...pat came the reply only Rs. 300.
I knew this was going to pinch my pocket ,,but i didnt know what was round the corner.

Waiting at drugstore i wait for the pharmacist to help me out with the list of creams and start enquiring with him about any potential side effects of these creams & medicines. As he tried to assuage my misgivings, his bill was much more comforting..Rs. 900....With a weak heart i inhale heavily b4 i faint...and foot the bill.

On reaching home i look at the presciption to rehearse for my upcoming "Creamy" daily ritual for the month, thats when i looked at the sun screen. It was the same sunscreen which i saw on the pamplet at the docs.....i was !"£$%^&*. MedReps exist....

In the end i realized that i had to go to a doc who told me that i had to use a "SUNSCREEN" so that i didn't TAN.. I am enlightened...I am floating in the air..What a mighty piece of revelation?

I think i might open up my own clinic and this time i wouldnt mind contributing to this billion $ industry, now that i know how they make those moolahs....Any partners???

The Expressive Generation

Its a rainy saturday afternoon. As i look outside my window im gripped by this impulse to shop. Who knows when the world might come to an end. So off i leave for my neighbourhood mall.

I find most of the shops have a sales offer but the stocks are no good. I scout around some more shops but nothing appeals. Finally i head towards the eateria. Thats when i realized althrough my time at the mall i have been surrounded only by Young Adults.

As i looked around i saw the mall was full of young men who were cheking out every babe around. No woman was spared coz there were some middle aged desperados too. I found one walking right in front of me who expected me to make eye contact & follow him too. But honey, i got better tastes.. nonetheless all this was harmless admiration. A treat to the sore eye.

I love shopping malls They provide a wonderful ground to observe people. My attention was caught by this 13 year old young lady wearing a stiletto heel. The awkwardness was evident. She seemed to be having a hard time maintaining her balance. I saw her wince at times. For whom did she want to pull off this stunt was beyond my comprehension? or was she trying to attract someone?

As i move towards the escalator i found this young boy and girl walking right ahead of me. The girl was wearing a top. But more than her top it were the straps of her innerwear that got my eyeballs. I admire the fashion statement of these youngsters. I was shaken out of my admiration when suddenly this guy puts his hand around the girl's waist and tried to caress her. I was dumbfounded. They were what 14-15 year olds. I bet the guy wouldn't even have touched his first shaving kit. What were we experimenting with?

I have nothing against this younger generation. Infact i feel glad at times that India has finally come out of the closet. But what scares me is i couldn't identify with a generation that was just 10 years behind me. Even we crossed that age but... May be this is how it is.

If I have had as much exposure like this generation, would i have been like them? I wonder. Exposure is power and with it comes the freedom to express oneself better. Every generation has been able to make better choices for themselves than their predecessors. All i want to see is what decision this new generation youngistan makes for itself or has it already been made?

Musical Childhood

I have been trying to read for a while now. But haven’t been able to will myself into it especially with soothing music playing in my ears. It plays every string of my body. What’s so special about music that makes me abandon the entire world even if it is for a few minutes. I remember how hard I had tried to get rid of this habit of listening to music during work hours. It’s addictive and it rules no matter how hard you try. It’s good to be passionate about things but what pleasure do I derive from listening to someone else singing sweet words into my ears. I did see that the words didn’t matter to me as much as the melody did.

Since childhood music has had a huge influence on me. May be its atmosphere in which I was brought up. I do remember my dad’s colleagues pouring in our house and asking me and my sister to sing “Mile Sur Mera Tumhara”. The request would be duly entertained with us sisters singing out loud and displaying our prowess on the subject, whether we understood all the languages endorsed in this small song which had become a national rage during the late 80s. We sure were the pride & joy of our parents.

Colony functions wouldn’t be complete without me and my sister singing. We were very fondly called the “Ayyangar Bagini” (The Ayyangar Sisters).

Coming from a typical south Indian background dance or music classes is a ritual which one cannot skip. A very elderly gentleman would come twice a week at our place to teach us sisters Carnatic music. Being a kid I was more interested in playing outside with Mud like other normal kids rather than learn from this teacher. I remember my mom serving him Dosas while he asked us to practice what he taught. I knew then and there what I wanted. Of course the dosa with the imli chutney. I refused to learn from him anymore.

Mom persisted. After a few years she got us sisters enrolled again to learn carnatic music. Only this time we had to go to our teachers place. Our madam was a renowned singer in her circle. Our classes were held on Saturday afternoons and Sunday mornings. Saturday afternoons at 3 PM and Sunday mornings at 7 AM which were the best times to sleep. I dreaded it. We sisters would cycle for 4 kms to reach this place. The classes were held for about an hour.
I do not know for how long I went on to learn from her (3 yrs) but whatever I learnt I can still sing that today. With the onset of my sister’s board examination she was allowed to discontinue the classes, whilst I was asked to continue. I didn’t find the classes particularly appealing. So I came up with my excuse of being in 8th class and with additional subjects like PCB (Physics, chemistry, biology) I needed extra time & energy to study. A very plausible excuse to come clean out of this. I succeeded.

An opportunity to learn was never denied in the family. I had once asked my dad for the songs of “Mr. India”. I remember the ride we took on our “Hamara Bajaj” scooter and how proud I felt holding that small piece of tape. “Na Mange sona chandi” was our all time favorite and it was a huge blockbuster hit with the entire family. It was always performed on family occasions with much gusto. Not only “Mogambo Khush Hua” so did the entire family. Let me share this too. On our recent trip to Agra, I and my sister sang this song again at the risk of our driver ramming our vehicle into another. My mom asks for its recorded version.

As a kid I would eagerly wait for my dad to bring cassettes from his tours of Mumbai. A Mumbai trip for dad would mean a huge treat for us. Our dad exposed us sisters to most of the western music. Irrespective of what genre of cassettes he would bring from Mumbai it would be rehearsed, repeated and performed for the family within a week by us sisters. If I had a fight with dad he always knew how to make up. He would play my favorite music on the deck and I would automatically sway in that direction with all my anger melting away.

As an 8th grader I remember singing out loud to the tunes of Celine Dion, Shania Twain, Air Supply, Madonna, George Michael to the point of annoyance. I would eagerly wait for my dad to finish his meditation. Once that was done around 9 in the morning I would turn on the radio which would play all the recent Hindi movie tracks. Unlike today, with so much proliferation of the media our times used to have very few sources of music. Even MTV wasn’t much happening at that time. I did help my parents in increasing their tolerance level every day by making them an audience to my constant humming and chanting of lyrics of all Hindi songs. Thanks to Astrick (our pet) who never howled along with me. Else both of us would have been surely grounded for a week. I used to be a perfectionist when it came to rote lyrics. I could have put any street singer to shame.

Life moved on. During my engineering days music would be my constant companion when I would solve math problems or work on my drawing sheets. But something was missing. Work life began. Life was pretty good but I still felt something was missing. One fine day while walking on the streets I came across the sound of a “Tanpura” which sedued me towards the “Gandharva Sangeet Mahavidyalaya” and I didn’t miss anything anymore. I learnt Hindustani classical music and went on the give my praveshika exam.

Giving an exam or adding certificates in my kit was not the purpose. I enjoyed stepping into a state where I didn’t have to deal with the day to day pressures of life. I loved when I just had to sing to be transported to a world which was mesmerizing, where there were no boundaries, no fences, no restrictions and no fears. It was a world that denied access to none.

When I look back little did I realize what my mom did to me. She pushed us into something which she knew would ultimately become a huge recourse for us. As I write this article I find all my answers to the question as to why I find music simply irresistible. Its coz I find peace, solace, comfort and an everlasting companion who was, is and will remain with me during all phases of my life and yes, even till my last breath.

Consumer Exp 2

Some products are unique and you are ready to go any length just to buy them. I have this affinity for soya shakes which I found ONLY at my nearby retail outlet. But the only hick up was->Bill processing. There wasn't any other store in my radar where I could get this product. It took me 60 seconds to pick the product and stand in queue. So I stood in line for more than 600 seconds for a 150 rupees product. Was it justified to woo your customers with a unique product and make them stand in lines at your beck & call? What have you captured their loyalty or their desperation?

Think about it. How long was it going to take me to go to his competitor- retail outlet with a better billing & crowd management system and request for the same shake? If he is smart enough he would get the message. He wouldn’t even have to woo me. When big retail giants commit mistakes like this it becomes easier for us to figure out why they go bust.

Consumer Exp 1

All of us have different roles to play. We play some with total finesse and some with plain dumbness. We tend to choose our stand according to the favorability of the situation. This time I choose to be a customer and see things from a buyer’s perspective.

I am very BIG on processes. Companies can function optimally only with effective and efficient processes in place. World class services achieved by most of the companies might not be due to their investors or their top brass or their brand name. I want to believe it’s only their attention to details which gives them the edge.

I recently had some instances all in a span of just 2 months which made me realize the power of a customer executive too. All these instances were in the thick of recession. Training your customer executives can save you lots of customers and trouble too.

1. I got a call from one customer executive claiming herself to be from some insurance company. Considering the current shallowness of my pockets I assured her that I might not be in a position to buy anything from her, with a total disregard to her proposal. The lady didn’t persist. she moved on to her new customer without wasting a minute. It was then that the penny dropped. If the lady had persisted a little bit more then she might have extracted enough dough from me to have achieved her target for the day.

Einstein had come up with the theory of relativity. To put it in simple words when one has to sit for a 1.5 hr lecture & listen to your professor droning the agony seems to be endless. On the other hand when you sit with a beautiful lady in a café time flies by like a blink of an eye. Money is also a relative concept.

I had mentioned to the lady that I was unemployed. But does unemployment mean that you do not have bank balances or you do not need insurance. All of us believe in protecting ourselves and our loved ones at all times because Insurance is recession proof. Rs. 2000 might be a pittance for a millionaire but it might be a good investment for a lower class bloke. For an upper middle class fellow Rs. 2000 might be one day’s impulse shopping and might be a local pass fee or a taxi fare the next day. The same holds true for Rs. 10000 too which might have been her insurance target. But does a mere cell number give away my social status or my bank balance?

Now assuming there are at least 5 callers for the insurance company and they call around 100 people of which 30 are unemployed in a day. Even if they convert 1 caller out of this 30 unemployed that makes 5 customers a day and 5*260(days) customers in a year. That’s a whooping Rs. 1.3 Cr from the unemployed to miss out on assuming each one pays Rs.10000 a year as premium. Are the insurance companies hearing?

( To be contd..)

Lizard ohh lizard

It’s often said that parents pass on all their irrational fears and phobias to their kids. My mother had two of them. Fair she has always been and so was she when it came to her phobias- The cockroaches and the lizards. It wasn’t a will or an estate where you had to claim your stake it was nevertheless automatic. The cockroaches were bestowed upon my sister and by default the lizards fell in my lot.

It’s so strange when I think of cockroaches- They come in all shapes, colors and sizes. But my sister had a typical phobia of the 1-2 inch long ones. At times I feel all of them choose their victims very carefully. Once a flying cockroach launched itself on my sister’s back & not on mine. Scared as she was she let out a scream which brought out my mom’s protective instincts. Thuddd... came her hand on my sisters back. But alas the enemy had already fled to safe shelters with my sister crying all the more with a shattered back. I don’t think she remembers the cockroach but she remembers my mom’s attempt to protect her.

I cannot recall my earliest of encounters with the lizards. My memory says it was in the early 90s that I embarked upon a journey which I do not think will ever come to an end. There is something eerie about them. I don’t like their eyes or the way they move or the way they keep sensing the environment around them by letting out their tongues. Eee... They are believed to be harmless but their sight is enough to get the devil out of me.

Summers at our hometown were harsh and a cooler would be our savior. I and my sister would take turns in filling up water in the cooler. I detested this duty since every time I had to do a kind of a tango with my best friends- the lizards. Yes I said in plural coz you never know how many were in there taking shelter under the cooler.

My sister was adept at getting rid of them. She could shoo them away like a pro. But consumed with fear as I was I could never get a hold on it and would let out a holler when I looked at them. I wonder why I never enrolled my name in the Guinness book of world records for the sharpest scream ever. I would have won hands down. When I tried to shoo them to the right they would move to the left & vice versa. It seemed like they would come charging on me. I seriously hated them.

Summers were also the time when the entire household was cleaned up. We had a huge house and it had lots of cupboards made out of wood. Now it’s not something new to say that the bigger the house the larger the capacity to dump. So every summer mom would want to ensure all her dumps were stored properly. Now these tasks were very shrewdly scheduled by mom when both I and my sister would be at home. The cupboards at the bottom were infested with cockroaches and the ones on the top with lizards. So you can figure out for yourself what was the allocation.

Since the cupboards at the top outnumbered the ones at the bottoms I had to brace myself to meet the enemy. With my heart in my mouth I would open the cupboards. I would knock on the cupboard door with the broom for a good 5 minutes and then only dare to open it. Sometimes I would really get lucky. All the cartons at the top would be filled with the end product of the male and female lizard’s attempts to increase their tribe. This was my golden opportunity to nip the enemy in the bud and I did a good job. During family outings for more than a week we would always be greeted by floating dead lizards in our buckets. Once when I tried opening up a cupboard I found a dry lizard which fell off. I simply wanted to throw up.

Cleaning up the shoe rack also took turns. Once I found a youngling which tried to run in the house. But with a dog around we had to be careful and I tried to write him off from the face of this earth. But the young fellow was shrewd enough and he left me his tail as a souvenir & oh yeah it was still shaking. You might ask why I didn’t take help from my sister. But as you know the dynamics between siblings works like a balance sheet. It has to tally. The number of appearances which the lizards liked to make was far more than what the nocturnal cockroaches did. So I had taken all the help I could get from her and if I asked for more she would want some other kind of favors from me which wouldn’t soothe my ego.

Staying together surely had its advantages. Whenever I had stayed with people at least one of them was able to get rid of the lizard. When I moved to Mumbai I started staying alone and I never ever realized that the enemy would be watching me. The enemy attacked me at the most critical of times. The time when I was late for office and had to get a bath. I open the door of my bathroom and bammm I could see him with his dirty eyes staring at me. How hard had I tried to shoo him away. Ultimately I had to call upon my neighbor to do the honors. Over a period of time this became a ritual. Now whenever my neighbors saw me ring their door bell they would say “ohh the poor thing must have met a lizard.”

It was out of experience that I had decided that I should leave such things to the experts. Once I was all alone in my single room kitchen apartment and I saw something crawling on the floor. Cockroach I thought but i was in for a rude surprise. I do not sweat usually. But with my best friend around I was sweating heavily in the middle of winter. I let out a sharp scream & finally won the battle after a good half an hour. Oh the turmoil I went through.

One should diversify. So one day when I again met my enemy I called upon a friend on my cell. He lived two blocks away. When I told him about the urgency he almost rolled on the floor with laughter. He had tried desperately to catch hold of the small lizard but managed to throw it out in 3 pieces all with his hand. I only hoped he wouldn’t tell my colleagues about the incident who already wanted to gift me a bucket of lizards on my birthday.

Life moved on. Now also I live in an apartment on the top floor. But my constant companions never leave me alone. So the first thing I did was to secure my house. I never ever open the windows of my house coz prevention is better than cure. Strict instructions are given to all the guests of my house as to not to open any windows.

One day to my surprise when I had opened the door of my house early in the morning to keep out my garbage can little did I know whom I was inviting? A small friend had let himself in my living room and ran under my divan on which I slept. I couldn’t sleep anymore. I was already standing on a chair with a broom in my hand. But age & experience had made me wiser and I called my neighbor to rescue me, yet again. Early in the morning at around 6:30AM she came in and the lizard gave her a tough time for about 10 minutes. All this time I was still standing on top of a table in my kitchen.

I have made some brash attempts to cure this phobia of mine. Recently i visited a croc park where i met the bigger and wilder versions of lizards.- The crocodiles. There was a counter where they would allow you to hold a 1 year old 2 feet long croc in your hand and take pics. It was a paid service. This was my time to show off my courage.I told my uncle to take a snap of mine within seconds of holding the croc since i knew i wouldnt be able to hold him for more than a minute. Ugly as he was with a 100 teeth that were growing everyday, may be to bite me, had the luxury of sitting on my lap and be shot. I almost screamed and shouted for the entire time he was with me. But i felt good once i was done coz i held him. I am very sure if someday someone asked me to hold a lizard even for a nanosecond and gave me a 1000 bucks i would faint and have a heart attack.

I seriously do not know where this thing is going to lead me. But I have laid down some ground rules. It doesn’t hurt to make friends with your neighbors and ask for help. It doesn’t hurt to call your friends at odd times. It doesn’t matter if you fear something’s. I am also sure that one of the qualities that I look in my partner would be “No fear of Lizards”. But whether he fears them or not I am sure I am going to pass on this phobia to one of my kids and continue the family tradition. And at that time when I see the enemy yet again I will have company to scream along with. After all the more the merrier.

Astrology for the day

Today my sister SMSd me saying that she had some exciting news to share. I wondered whether her braces were coming off. But here is the twist. She said that she had been to an astrologer who had said something’s about our future.

As a child I wanted to believe in astrology where I would regularly read the astrology columns in the newspaper and wait for the event to occur on that day of my life. If it didn’t occur I would read the column tomorrow again. My curiosity got the better of me. I went ahead and bought Linda Goodman’s book on horoscope. The book covered every detail about the traits of men, women and children of each sign. I actively read about my sign and then went ahead to believe that all good things being told was about me and the not so good stuff was about the other people belonging to the same zodiac.

Years passed and here I am ready to disbelieve everything told by astrologers and their clan. Today when I read the horoscope column in the newspaper ,I simply cannot stop wondering the generalization used in it. Is it possible that the world is divided into 12 separate teams who march together and have the same events happening to all of them? Then how can one generalize things in the column. The best part is there are many people out there who want to believe that such things do happen and wait all day for it to happen and when it doesn’t they go back to the same page and column. After all tomorrow never dies.

A few years back my mother had been to an astrologer who said that she would be a “Sumangali” which meant that she would die before my dad did. But she couldn’t come to terms with life when she found herself alone trying to raise two daughters all by herself. But she still believes in astrology and buys book regularly which predict our futures annually. Well that’s how moms are.

At times I think that all astrologers can become excellent economists. When my mom had been to one long time back he predicted that I would become a doctor and that I would settle in the US. It was a time when most of us from India were packing our bags for greener pastures. The next time she went to another one she said that I would do very well for myself in the computer industry which was when the BPO, IT boom had stuck India and only those sectors were the biggest recruiters. Today the same people tell me that I would not work for a long time and start a business of my own few years down the line. Of course with the recent downturn, all the subprime hooh-hah and the developed countries looking with much anticipation towards the developing countries the entire action is going to be in Asia with India becoming a the future super power. So doesn’t all this seem to be a bit too predictable?

I am no believer in stars, horoscopes, tarot …. But I do believe that all of us are bound to our karmas and our future is destined by our Karmas. Yes astrology feels good at times when all positive and believable things are told about us especially during times of gloom and doom when we even don’t have our jobs to hold on to. May be they provide us with a ray of hope saying good times are awaiting us and propel us unknowingly towards our unset or unvisited goals. But all said and done are we here to just enact our roles when the script has already been written? If yes, then who is this script writer- the astrologers who are acting as messengers or is there a collective conscious out there which always outwits us.