I have no doubt you have your share of the women who just make you keep your mouth shut and listen to them actively/passively till they have come clean with all they have had in their minds. Blah blah blah…. Phew…You are eternally at the receiving end. Still the top list of women- cribs involve.. “You don’t EVER listen to me”, “Why don’t you understand”, “You Always do this”, “Grrr”……
Coming down to Men. I really feel for you guys. But times are changing.
Call it a happy coincidence or happidence I caught myself staring at a transforming male-female equation in India, with men having a huge role to play. The modern day man is here to stay & has come back in a big way. (Not bad for a rhyme).
Retail therapy is one of my best friends and as I set out that day to Shopper’s stop I couldn’t believe what I saw. On the ladies floor, almost 80% of the trial rooms had men standing outside. Why? Coz they either had their wives, fiancées, girl-friends inside the trail rooms, who valued their opinion on what they bought to adorn themselves. Fair enough. After all they wanted to look a million bucks for their guys. Some of the dialogues went like this “Is this looking good?”, “Can you get me a bigger/smaller size in this?” & What do you think was the comment from the other side. Not a very predictable “Yes” or “No”. But it was mind blowing to see that the men said “You should try another color”, “Go with this one”, “after the fitting it would look like this”, “Nice”. I know you have your eyes and jaws dropping till the floor, Ladies.
Not only that. I had my heart in my mouth that men were doing this with 1-2 year old toddlers running around them, in baby-strollers, screaming, shouting & they were handling all this with equal panache & calmness. I might as well have fainted. This was uber-cool by all standards. I won’t lie by saying that all of them were the same. Some men were utterly embarrassed to be doing this and went into the eye-hiding-mode when other women were looking at them, what they might have believed, with questioning eyes. In fact, I bet, each and every woman on the floor was floored by these men and were only wanting to give them the appreciative glances for bringing out this new-man out in style & wondering “If only my man were like this”.
Somewhere in your mind you are thinking did I step out on a Gay-day. Come on Woman Don’t be cynical. Call it training or the flat learning curve. Men have come to understand that their success both in the bedroom and the boardroom lies with the woman that they have chosen to spend their lives with. By showing their care and concern, in public or private, will not make them any less of a man. If only they had known that it was so easy to woo a (woo)man.
With this new insight as I search around, the universe is opening up to me with new proof points. Men are OK with carrying their wife’s & mother’s handbags openly. I cannot admire enough their smartness. May be all men didn’t have any issues doing it earlier but the societal rules dictated their behavior. Now they are bending all of it, liking the liberation that comes with it and living in a no-holds barred environment. They are involving themselves in all decisions that have traditionally been a woman’s turf-> the plebian task from choosing what vegetables and fruits to eat, groceries continued with buying shoes, slippers, perfumes, jewellery, gadgets, till the big ticket items like vehicles, home-loans & holidays. In short, everything under the sun.
The Indian advertising industry is leaving no stone unturned in capturing this new avatar of a man. A couple of them being, an old man in an Idea Cellular ad bringing in a single-stemmed-rose-flower to express his love to his wife on a Valentine’s day, with the instant quip from the wife, asking him why he didn’t buy a Cauliflower instead, followed by the ICICI Prudential Life Insurance ad on the forgetful-disorganized behavior of good-hearted men and many more.
If this is not proof enough then I can tell you the story of my friend who cooks every day of his marriage and just enjoys the look on his wife’s face, when after a long day at work she finds food to be served with a genuine smile from her hubby. If this is not a miracle then I don’t know what is.
Let me take this moment to applaud all these men who are defacing the myth of the stereotyped man. Guess they have always been caring & conservative but it’s only now that they are finding their feet & looking-caring at what truly matters. I’m left wondering, what in a few years if they become more expressive than women. But who cares. Every expression is welcome when we have waited so long for them. Kudos to the Modern man! Bande sahi mein ache hain!
