Friday, July 27, 2012

Are you a Dreamer or an Alchemist?

Oftentimes we come across people, events, places, books that leave a lasting impression on us. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho is definitely one of them. The book is a balm; a balm that cures you of your disbeliefs and disappointments with life. Having read this multiple times in the last few years, I never seem to have gotten enough of it & the amusing part is that at every stage of my life whenever I have read it, it tells me something new, makes me see something new & takes me somewhere new.



Webster’s dictionary defines an Alchemist as someone, who spends his entire life in the quest for a magic formula, the formula that converts any base metal into gold. In short the Alchemist seeks to give everything the Midas touch.


We humans are constantly searching. The search for that someone-something-sometime- somewhere is eternal & endless in itself. You want to buy that car, you want to own that house, you want to be with that someone, you want to go on that foreign tour, you want to find God, et al. But the one that tops the list for most of us is ‘you want “The Job.”’ Have you ever wondered why?


Coming back to the book. It’s about a shepherd in Andalusia named Santiago. Santiago has a recurring dream which beckons him to the Pyramids to find a hidden treasure. Torn between the stability offered by his daily life and the adventures of this mystical journey, Santiago discovers his true calling and in the end reaches exactly where he had begun from. But, to complete this circle he goes through the cycle of desire, thrill, expectations, hope, anguish, despair, distrust, hardwork, belief, effort & ultimately fearlessness in the eye of the storm. Sounds very much like our stories. It is about the Pursuit of things that you truly desire.


“It’s the possibility of a having a dream come true that makes life interesting”. Almost every Indian household has a wannabe cricketer, singer, dancer, miss world and may be a Hollywood filmstar. We were all dreamers as youngsters, who couldn’t think of any possible obstacles. We were full of positive energy, confident and somewhere deep down we knew that it would happen coz it was just meant to be. But then something shifted between now and then. Today our chase is more about putting food on the table, complying with the obligations of adult life and hoping that our children fulfill our dreams & lead vicarious lives. Sad but true.


The author says that at some point in our lives we all buy into the greatest lies of the world-‘The inability to choose our destinies, the self-fulfilling prophecy of losing control, the belief that our lives are controlled by fate, the myth that, some nefarious, dark forces come into action preventing us from realizing our true potential’. But in reality, it is these forces which push us to the edge and get us an inch closer to our destiny. “People are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of.”


There is an old story that goes like this. A young boy wanted to know the secrets of happiness & so he decided to pay a visit to the wisest saint of the world. Upon reaching his place, the boy had to wait for long, since the saint was very sought after by both the rich and the poor. Finally when his turn came he asked the saint the secret of happiness? The saint advised him to roam around his palace with a spoon containing 2 drops of oil on it. The request was not to spill the oil. On returning back the saint saw that the oil drops were still intact but the boy had seen nothing. During the 2nd trip around the palace, the boy was mesmerized with what he saw but on his return there were no oil drops on the spoon. The takeaway -> ‘The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world and never forget that drops of oil on the spoon.’


Sometimes we are floundered with existential issues. Who am I? What am I doing here? What is my purpose in life? How do I make the most of it? The truth is we all have these answers deep within us. Right from the time we were born, we knew what we were here for Coz It’s Maktub. It’s written. All we beings are connected deep inside & once in a while we need to immerse ourselves in this universal current of life.


The rootcause of the most marvelous and splendid work that we see & hear of is due to one and only one reason. DESIRE. The universe is full of desires. She tries to see how do I bring this desire to fruition? So she plants these desires in us. The challenge here is she speaks only the language of souls and signs. It pains her a lot when she sees that a part of her (you & me) is struggling to find an outlet. She is constantly signaling to you but alas, you don’t speak her language since you have begun speaking a language that all of us speak but nobody truly understands. It’s superficial.


When Santiago had decided to chase his destiny, the universe sent him a guru named Melchizedek. Melchizedek was a wealthy king who had traversed through the same path just like Santiago, albeit the path here was of Passion. In Sanskrit a guru is defined as ‘the one who dispels darkness’. Going by the same logic, a guru is someone who brings light in your life and shows you the path that you should pursue. Someone who can hold our hand & tell us that “Fear not, you still have it in you.” This guru can be any form- a person, a book, a poem, an experience, a place, a song, the list is endless. Ultimately these are channels through which the universe tries to converse with us. Let’s add this Mentor also to the list of things that we keep looking for. Because this guru is going to become the lighthouse of your quest- a guiding post, a torch, a kick that is well deserved.


The ancient greeks would ask one question when any man died “Was he passionate?” Let’s pause here for a moment to recollect what you loved doing as a child? What are you passionate about? Tell me. Spell it out. Passion can be defined as something that keeps you satisfied, keeps you going, truly soaks you, frustrates you, challenges you, defeats you, grows on you, grows you but in the end leaves you better than you thought. Your passion is the driving force that will convert the coal (you) into Diamond. (Now isn’t that better than gold?).


At the end of the story, Santiago succeeds in finding his treasure but with some major detours. Although he moves around continents to find his true calling but in the end he comes back to where he started from, but as a completely new person. Probably this is the fact of life. Now you might want to argue with me saying that all this is good in fables. But mon amie in my view, fables should be read by adults more often than kids, to evoke & invoke, all those times and places that we visited as a child in our head. A Dream Track.


Coming back to reality. Yes we have grown and with that comes a certain amount of responsibility towards our families, our jobs, our lives, our health, et al. We cannot abandon these responsiblities. You have all the right to argue with me about it. But just hear me out a little more.


All of us lie somewhere in the area between 2 axes. Returns are what we get for doing any task and satisfaction quotient is how this task makes you feel at the end of the day. If you are at P3, probably you get excellent returns but you can’t feel your heart with you. There is a certain amount of void, whose existence you are trying to deny. Most of us like P3 because it’s easy to achieve & the obstacles are not very challenging. We fall for it every time. But guess what, some restlessness will start building within you. If you are at P4, you are exhilarated but you might not be able to do this all along because you need returns to survive in this world. Both points P3 and P4 are not sustainable & might end up sucking out the sheen and luster from your life. If you are one of those lucky ones to be around P1 or P2, then pls hold on to whatever it I that you are doing. Repeating the above mentioned story, one will be able to see all the Marvels of the world only when you are constantly trying to move near the Diagonal and not near the axes. The higher you move up the Diagonal the higher would be the quality of your life. Today, if you find 5 minutes for yourself, think if you really are chasing the one thing that brings the highest satisfaction quotient for you?



India has 1000s of entrepreneurs who fail at a phenomenal level. The survival ratio of any business installed by them is 10% and this number moves to the south every passing year. But even after losing everything, do you see them giving up? Nope, because it is the call of the universe that you have to respond to. She will try and test you, put you through the worst of situations & ultimately break you. Break you to see, if your desire is strong? It is at this stage that the Alchemist in you arises, speaks the language of the soul & emerges victorious. Coz things done with love and purpose can never go wrong.


Different plants grow in different seasons albeit the role remains the same. TO FLOURISH. Probably we are trying to do the same things at our workplaces as well. We do mean well, but we try to become Gold in areas where we are Irons and rust in areas where we are truly Golden. Sure Gold is highly valued but we can build houses only out of Iron. Both elements are useful but in different environments. Our quest for a better job also stems from the same fact. We force ourselves to fit in places that we don’t fit. No?


So what’s the point? My point is my friend Don’t give up. Our destinies were chalked out and written by the same hand that created everything else around us. Let’s continue to write our stories and see if the inks match. There will be 1000 naysayers who will discourage you from achieving your dreams, fill you with dread, tell you all their sad-sob-failure stories. So what do you do? Listen to that tiny little fella’s voice in your heart coz he is much more in sync with your desires.


We are all made up of the same 5 elements & are similar in more ways than we can think. Close your eyes, slowly make a wish and ask. Ask with all your heart, what is it that you want from this world. Once you make this wish each & every molecule, atom, nucleus of this universe will conspire to get you that. Practice that guitar that you have been trying to play, sing the songs that you want to sing, become the cricketer & deliver those shots, dance your way into life, bring alive the masterchef in you, open that boutique, do all the things that come naturally to you and then suddenly…suddenly one day you will find your treasure..And when you hit that treasure, you would have turned everything in your life into gold since you are no longer remain a dreamer but you become an Alchemist.




Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Weighty Issues

“Mirror Mirror on the wall who is the thinnest of them all”?
It’s you..it’s you..it’s you honey no doubt about it.
What caught my attention about this book was the image at the beginning of the 1st chapter with a fat girl staring into the mirror, to find a thin one. No matter how many times I do this exercise with myself, even I see the same…what others don’t see. It’s kind of amazing to find that we live in a distorted world, with a distorted view, yet we want everything & everybody to be PERFECT. Isn’t that bizarre?
If we look at this world there are basically 2 types of people- One who are trying to lose weight and the others who are trying to gain some. I often think this is how we balance the world. Who cares about going green and all… Bring these weighty issues under control and I guess we are good to go. Don’t you think so? Anyhow…nowadays there is too much noise around people trying to lose weight.. well ..it seems that their size gives them the additional stamina to crib about their problems. My question ->where are all those skinny people and when are they coming out with a book to describe their trials and tribulations? Would like to hear their viewpoint as well. Although the most clichéd answer that I have ever heard is “Get Married and you will gain weight!!!” Oh boy that’s easy.
 Now let me pause here for a moment to congratulate Kalli Purie on coming out with her book “Confessions of a serial dieter” that is full of insights about what it feels to be inside the body of a fat person. An unabashed admission to what extent one is ready to go, in order to get that FAB-HOT body or just so to get acceptance amongst the larger set of audience who really don’t care about you or in this case to be there for your family without becoming a burden on them. It is definitely not easy.  Right from the beginning, Kalli has painted the picture of a person who is absolutely fascinated by the pains & pleasures that one can derive only by being in an honest relationship, except that this one was with food.
All of us juggle multiple things in our lives including family, work, friends, ME-time, etc, but what we tend to forget is our lifetime relationship with our body & food. Eating is like a love-hate relationship. I love you..I hate you..I love you..I hate you. You are yo-yoing every time & you do bounce back with stronger emotions. You love those moments when you are with it, feel comforted by it, taste it, are able to forget your blues, but hate it immediately, the moment it has made friends your fat cells. You can’t live with it, yet you can’t live without it. A jealous lover, aren’t you?
Kalli has very carefully delineated every little stage of her life with food. The things that constantly change are her dieticians, her diets & the weighing machines. The things that remain constant are her ever increasing weight and her nose-diving confidence.  What also doesn’t change is her appetite to find the right diet so that she can bring herself back to her correct weight.  Can you experiment with 43 diets in a span of 40 years? Only an eternal optimist can do it.
I used to think that the world revolved around money & power. But have come to the sad realization that everything in this world revolves around size & weight. We have all gotten good at perfecting the task of delaying simple experiences till we become of the right size or weight or to say “When I become perfect”.
Ohh… I will buy that dress when I become 2 sizes smaller” , “I will go to that beach once I am bikini fit”, “ I will go to that trip when I am 57.3 Kgs, nothing more- nothing less”, “I will take that photograph when I have a 24” waist”, “I will be marriageable only if I lose weight.”  We have become an obsessed nation of weightlosers and weightgainers. Sadly our perceptions & opinions about someone whom we meet, also revolve around these parameters only.  So who is setting these standards for us?
As kids, all of us wanted to believe that if others could do something, so could we. What we realized in the end was that we have been cheated. Cheated coz we don’t understand that our body types are different. But who is to tell a 10 year old about body type. Most of us have been chubby as kids at some point or the other. So what’s the big deal? I remember days when I could pile on massive amounts of samosas, kachoris, jalebis, cakes, coke, all in one day and get away with it without putting on an ounce of weight. GUILT FREE…. My age and my weight thereafter have shown that some games are to be played only when you are a child. A child’s play in every sense.
“I want only the best.” This is the demand of this generation. Be it in terms of clothes, education, jobs, spouses…We all want better things in life and once we have found it we seldom settle for anything less. The joy that  a small rose bud could bring to you as a child, pales in front of what a bouquet of the most expensive orchids  can do to you right now beCOZ you have seen better.  Over the centuries of evolution, we humans have also found better things to wear, marry & eat. I have read somewhere that we basically have only 4 types of taste buds- Sweet, salty, sour and bitter. What ideally must have happened is we should have found better & healthier things to eat as well. But alas, this has been the opposite for most of us when it comes to food.  Today we have access to the best of chocolate cakes loaded with sugar, along with that roadside chatwala who churns out the most delicious of chats. Now eating that raw vegetable and fruit on its own doesn’t seem so exciting does it? Coz we have tasted better & now our taste buds refuse to entertain anything lesser by its standards. Fascinating.. all things have brains of their own.
Honestly there is loads of weight wisdom out there & I am not in any mood to give you a sermon on the same. But why is that every time we find a new book, video, magazine on a new diet or exercise regime we run like a mad (wo) man to purchase it, try it, only to realize that its old wine in a new bottle? This is something that even I catch myself doing… but who is to say its right or wrong. The heart wants what it wants. Probably deep inside we feel that someday we might become the poster girls of these books/magazines & show the world how we constantly struggled to fit into the high standards of this PERFECT world, that we have imagined for ourselves. And when we don’t see our faces in the next issue of that book/health magazine, we always have our mirrors to go back to where you see the world exactly as it should be!