Nope. This is not a blog on Insurance or the types of products they sell for assurance. This is an even more tangible product.
On a Saturday morning, all I was trying to do was to get out of my bed. It’s 9 AM already. Luckily I don’t have much on my to-do list & I try to wake up without guilt. Out of the blue I get a call from this friend of mine with whom I have been playing a game of missed calls. When I would call her she would be busy and when she would call I would be busy. For some reason this had become a practice. Today, although I was in my morning slumber, I took the call & spoke to her.
This friend of mine is a mother of two beautiful girls, a good daughter-in-law and an excellent wife. She understands her role very well in life and is one of the happiest people I have seen who has the courage & sensibility to delay her dreams for a while, to be with her kids and family. She quit her job for her girls, who are at a very impressionable age (One is 3 and the other is 6) and want their mother to be with them 24X7. Her hubby also came across a good man and he wanted his wife to do all that she cared for in her life. Could one ask for more?
While talking to her, I could sense that something was tugging at her. She seemed a little depressed, worried over the state of things and moreover there was a loss. Loss of self-confidence in her voice. Both of us had met at a foreign language class and she wanted to start teaching in that language. To that effect she was continuing her classes at the institute but the teachers at the institute didn’t think she was up to it and wanted her to go back to the basic levels and then come back to this 6th level. This was a little jarring for her, since she bought this as the entire truth.
As a friend I heard her out and found that this was the chicken in her that was speaking. She also knew this and wanted to know some more portion of the truth. After half an hour of talking, both of us came to the conclusion that what everyone around her was saying was Bull. (Pardon my words). Now she is OK and is still continuing with her fight to get closer to her dreams under all the constraints that life has to offer. It’s funny and stupid as to how easily we allow events, circumstances and people to discourage & dissuade us. (If I may add, people whom we don’t even know or who don’t know us). It’s become one of our rights. Right to be pushed around by others/strangers. Confounding isn’t it?
My friend was looking for an assurance that she could do it and she still had it in her. How often do we look for this assurance in all the wrong places? The biggest place we look for it is the Office. We want our colleagues and seniors to praise us and appreciate our existence. Well an honest admission. I have been there and I still do it at times. Sad fact->The Corporation is not a place to pacify or allay your fears. It is neither an insurance nor an assurance company. The business of a business is to do business and we are the conduits through which it gets it done. The same holds true for the language institute too. Then why do we do this to ourselves time and again?
That brings me to another assurance point. Facebook. I would like to call it the Jealousy book. (I can already hear you disagreeing with me.) It’s all goody-goody feeling book because when people post about all the things happening in their lives they wait for that assurance and comments from others in the form of ‘Likes’. Tell me how often you see people tell the truth about their lives in these books. It’s all half-baked. Well packaged. To add to that, we very aptly take it on Face Value. Of course FB is turning us all into good marketers but is doing a bad job at showing the reality. When people keep doing it every now and then there is this inherent question that so many things are happening in their lives and why not mine? There comes in the green-eyed monster. I just cannot tolerate Facebook. Although I know that people are only showing the good things in their lives, I can feel happy only for the 15-20 people in my life with whom I regularly interact personally coz I know the story behind the scenes and it is never a bed of roses. So when I post my pics and status, how can my FB friends (other than the 20) like and provide assurance to me?
It is unbelievable that we tend to fall for such sources of assurances. I am not saying that they are bad but they are not viable. A short term fix for a long term problem.
I recently came across this word called “Schadenfreude” which means to feel good about the misfortunes of others. Initially I thought that this was just a negative concept. But the penny dropped when on a not-so-good night I found myself howling and crying. I didn’t log on facebook or turn to my outlook inbox or work, but I called my sister. She knew something was amiss and the only thing she told me was “Mujhe tere problems sunna acha lagta hai kyunki mein apna sochna band karti hoon”. (I like to hear your problems coz it makes me stop thinking about mine) and there was my answer, that all of us are in this shit together and it is tangible things and people whom you know, can truly provide the required validation and verification you are looking for. In short you feel assured.
On a Saturday morning, all I was trying to do was to get out of my bed. It’s 9 AM already. Luckily I don’t have much on my to-do list & I try to wake up without guilt. Out of the blue I get a call from this friend of mine with whom I have been playing a game of missed calls. When I would call her she would be busy and when she would call I would be busy. For some reason this had become a practice. Today, although I was in my morning slumber, I took the call & spoke to her.
This friend of mine is a mother of two beautiful girls, a good daughter-in-law and an excellent wife. She understands her role very well in life and is one of the happiest people I have seen who has the courage & sensibility to delay her dreams for a while, to be with her kids and family. She quit her job for her girls, who are at a very impressionable age (One is 3 and the other is 6) and want their mother to be with them 24X7. Her hubby also came across a good man and he wanted his wife to do all that she cared for in her life. Could one ask for more?
While talking to her, I could sense that something was tugging at her. She seemed a little depressed, worried over the state of things and moreover there was a loss. Loss of self-confidence in her voice. Both of us had met at a foreign language class and she wanted to start teaching in that language. To that effect she was continuing her classes at the institute but the teachers at the institute didn’t think she was up to it and wanted her to go back to the basic levels and then come back to this 6th level. This was a little jarring for her, since she bought this as the entire truth.
As a friend I heard her out and found that this was the chicken in her that was speaking. She also knew this and wanted to know some more portion of the truth. After half an hour of talking, both of us came to the conclusion that what everyone around her was saying was Bull. (Pardon my words). Now she is OK and is still continuing with her fight to get closer to her dreams under all the constraints that life has to offer. It’s funny and stupid as to how easily we allow events, circumstances and people to discourage & dissuade us. (If I may add, people whom we don’t even know or who don’t know us). It’s become one of our rights. Right to be pushed around by others/strangers. Confounding isn’t it?
My friend was looking for an assurance that she could do it and she still had it in her. How often do we look for this assurance in all the wrong places? The biggest place we look for it is the Office. We want our colleagues and seniors to praise us and appreciate our existence. Well an honest admission. I have been there and I still do it at times. Sad fact->The Corporation is not a place to pacify or allay your fears. It is neither an insurance nor an assurance company. The business of a business is to do business and we are the conduits through which it gets it done. The same holds true for the language institute too. Then why do we do this to ourselves time and again?
That brings me to another assurance point. Facebook. I would like to call it the Jealousy book. (I can already hear you disagreeing with me.) It’s all goody-goody feeling book because when people post about all the things happening in their lives they wait for that assurance and comments from others in the form of ‘Likes’. Tell me how often you see people tell the truth about their lives in these books. It’s all half-baked. Well packaged. To add to that, we very aptly take it on Face Value. Of course FB is turning us all into good marketers but is doing a bad job at showing the reality. When people keep doing it every now and then there is this inherent question that so many things are happening in their lives and why not mine? There comes in the green-eyed monster. I just cannot tolerate Facebook. Although I know that people are only showing the good things in their lives, I can feel happy only for the 15-20 people in my life with whom I regularly interact personally coz I know the story behind the scenes and it is never a bed of roses. So when I post my pics and status, how can my FB friends (other than the 20) like and provide assurance to me?
It is unbelievable that we tend to fall for such sources of assurances. I am not saying that they are bad but they are not viable. A short term fix for a long term problem.
I recently came across this word called “Schadenfreude” which means to feel good about the misfortunes of others. Initially I thought that this was just a negative concept. But the penny dropped when on a not-so-good night I found myself howling and crying. I didn’t log on facebook or turn to my outlook inbox or work, but I called my sister. She knew something was amiss and the only thing she told me was “Mujhe tere problems sunna acha lagta hai kyunki mein apna sochna band karti hoon”. (I like to hear your problems coz it makes me stop thinking about mine) and there was my answer, that all of us are in this shit together and it is tangible things and people whom you know, can truly provide the required validation and verification you are looking for. In short you feel assured.
No comments:
Post a Comment